Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
