and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
