What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
