I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't think brook has ever known best
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
