yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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