I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
