Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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