my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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