Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
