he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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