Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
