pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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