And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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