Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
