I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
