my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
