bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
