is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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