Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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