Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she peed on how many people?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
