OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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