tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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