I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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