he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
