Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
