I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
