9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
