seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
