I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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