There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think my moral compass just broke
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
