Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
