I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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