I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
