That's intense
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
