I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
