I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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