Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
high people should be assigned attendants
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
