a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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