found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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