How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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