Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
