i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
