Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
