the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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