I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
