***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
