Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
