there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
