I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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