Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
