I wannas sexs uuuuu
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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