Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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