Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
