The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
